| tkp ( @ 2008-01-16 19:52:00 |
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| Entry tags: | movie, movie review, review |
Review: Argento's Phantom of the Opera
So,
my_daroga finally sat me down and made me watch Dario Argento's Phantom of the Opera, starring Julian Sands and Asia Argento and "based" on the Phantom of the Opera story (yes, the quotes are necessary). And this post is to tell you you must see this film. There are three reasons this movie is awesome:
1. It is so bad.
2. And yet, a few parts are so good.
3. Parts of this film are unique and thinky in spite of itself.
• Thrilling Aspects (on a stick!)
-Rat!sex.
-The director checking out Asia's boobs.
-The director being Asia's dad.
-Phallic deaths.
-Phallic lives.
-Did I mention sex with rats?
-A tongue getting torn out by someone else's teeth.
-
my_daroga saying, "Wouldn't the teeth bite through the tongue first?"
-Raoul, looking exactly like a Raoul.
-Julian Sands NAKED.
-Rodent shenanigans. Also, sex.
-The Phantom threatening to bite off Carlotta's breasts.
-Degas. Yes.
-Turkish baths, with wild aristocratic depravity, and Raoul naked.
-And Philippe naked.
-Rats. Naked.
-Really bizarre, horrible lip syncing.
-A rollercoaster go-cart invention that hoovers up rats.
-Hoovered up rats.
-Sexed up rats.
-Long blond haired skirry dudes who run about with capes and are secretive always do it for me. Good thing Lucius doesn't live underground.
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![]() The only similarities I see... |
![]() ...mostly have to do with icky hair. |
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