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cooking, stultiloquentia told me to

Because stultiloquentia told us to.
stultiloquentia's doing an easy recipe meme. Here's kyriacastle with here own recipes and why we should just do whatever Sulti says.

And here are my recipes! I transcribed almost all of them from memory; that is how easy they are.

Breakfast

Bagel-Apple-Cheese Thing

I've been having this every day for breakfast for like, two weeks.

Bagel
butter
cinnamon sugar
apple slices
weak white cheese slices

Cut the bagel in half, spread butter on both inside sides, sprinkle cinnamon sugar on top (like you're making cinnamon toast). Place apple slices over cinnamon, and cheese slices over apple. Set oven to "broil" and cook until cheese is melty and starting to get golden spots, and cinnamon sugar is melted into butter (only a few minutes. Great in toaster ovens). EAT.

Kolaches

extra buttery pillsbury croissant dough
mini cocktail weiners

Cut dough in strips and wrap up the weiners. Cook according to croissant recipe. If you haven't done this yet you need to now. EAT IT.

Sausage balls

2 C Bisquick
12 oz cheddar cheese (sharp is best, or you can do half sharp, half regular)
1 tube of that gross breakfast sausage, like Jimmy Dean (I do half regular and half spicy. The spicy is too spicy for me and the regular too bland. Experiment on your own.)

Mix (if you have a dough attachment on a mixer, this is best. Otherwise you'll have to use your hands). Roll into cookie-sized balls. Bake at 400 for 10-15 minutes (12 for me.) Then you EAT THEM.

Cold salad-y things

Almost Houston's Couscous

Houston's Restaurant has the best Couscous EVAR.

couscous
peanuts (or pine nuts, toasted)
golden raisins (or dried cherries. Mmm, dried cherries)
cherry tomatoes (quartered)
green onions (diced)
balsamic vinegar (about a tablespoon? I dunno. Eyeball it!)
lemon juice (about one lemon's worth)

Cook couscous according to directions. Put in fridge until cold. Mix in the rest, EAT cold.

Rachel Ray's bean salad

It's Rachel Ray. So you could find it and do it easy anyway. But I used to make this salad like, once a week.

green beans
red onion (diced)
cherry tomatoes (halved)
lemon juice
olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

Blanch green beans. Add onion and tomatoes. Drizzle oil and lemon juice (eyeball it), add salt and pepper, mix. EAT cold.

Waldorf Salad

Everyone knows this one, right?

sour cream
brown sugar
apples (squared)
walnuts (toasted)
celery (cut up)
raisins (or dried cherries)
optional: white onion (so finally diced you can barely see it)
optional: cheddar cheese (in squares. I don't usually do this.)

Mix sour cream and brown sugar until no longer grainy. Mix in the rest. EAT.

sweet stuff with peanutbutter

Puppy Chow (For you, not dogs. Is bad for dogs.)

I made this for seraphcelene when I visited, and for kita0610's family. Maze dared Fod to eat just one and somehow she managed; I know not how.

1 box Chex cereal
1 bag powdered sugar
12 oz. peanutbutter
24 oz. chocolate chips

Melt chocolate chips in microwave. Add peanutbutter and mix until smooth. Add Chex and gently mix until all is chocolatey. Get a plastic bag (you can use grocery bags if they are clean, but I use ziplock) and add a cup or two of powdered sugar, then a cup or two of the chocolatey Chex. Seal bag or tightly close with fist. Shake! Until individual chex pieces are dusted with sugar. Continue with sugar and Chex until all used up! You might need to go through several bags if they get sticky and stuff. Keep in sealed container for a long long time! But you shouldn't because you'll be DEVOURING them.

Peanutbutter Rice Krispie Treats (SO MUCH BETTER than that marshmellow crap)

treats:

7 cups Krispies!
1 cup sugar
1 cup corn syrup
1 1/2 cup peanutbutter

Heat sugar and corn syrup on stove until sugar dissolves. Take off heat, add peanutbutter. Pour over Krispies and mix. Grease 13x9 pan and push Krisies into it. Wait 'til it cools a little before putting on frosting.

frosting:
24 oz chocolate chips
12 oz butterscotch chips

Heat in microwave and mix until smooth. Careful, chocolate burns fast. Spread over treats.

These keep for a couple hours out of the fridge. Once in the fridge, they get really hard, and you have to wait for them to heat up a little before they're really enjoyable to EAT again.

No-bake cookies

2 C sugar
1/2 C milk
1/2 C cocoa (tried this with dark cocoa powder once and it was EVEN BETTER.)
1/2 C butter
3/4 C peanutbutter
3 C oatmeal (quick cook)

Bring sugar, milk, cocoa, and butter to a boil, boil for one minute. Take off heat and add peanutbutter, mix until smooth. Add oatmeal, mix. Lay out wax paper and spoon out daubs of chocolate oatmeal stuff evenly spaced. Hardens in open air and is easily removable from paper so you can EAT THEM. These suckers are hard to store because they crumble. I usually just put the wax paper on a cookie sheet, then stick the whole cookie sheet in the fridge uncovered.

dips

Apple Dip (Dessert)

cream cheese
caramel sauce or bunches of caramels you can melt, which is better
chopped peanuts
apple slices.

Spread cream cheese over a plate. Pour caramel sauce over cheese. Sprinkle peanuts to cover top. Dip apples and EAT. Best thing EVAR.

Benedictine (Veggie or cracker or ANYTHING dip)

1 package cream cheese
1/4 C sour cream (big dollop)
1 T mayonnaise (lil dollop)
1/2 cucumber (peeled. And seedless is better.)
1/4 white onion
green food coloring (I found this recipe that said NOT OPTIONAL)
salt (to taste. Probably a bit more than a pinch, though. A recipe said 1/4 teaspoon)

Mix cheese, cream, and mayo. Grate cuke and onion into mixture (you know, so it's all pulpy and wet). Mix. Add salt to taste. I add the food coloring because it looks really gray and gross, and it looks nice in the middle of a veggie plate. Don't put in too much color or it'll look like an alien landing. I did that once. EAT with celery, carrots, breadsticks, wheat thins, Ritz, spoon.

Meatball Sauce

1 C ketchup
1/3 C grape jelly (I know it sounds disgusting.)
lemon juice, optional.

Mix. I use frozen meatballs. I know. BUT OMG IT'S GOOD EAT NOW.

One day I shall teach you to make rumballs, young padawans. And Bernaise sauce.